fear

Burst, Expand, Elevate, Florish

On April 6, 2010, In Change, fear, By Juli

I’ve done it again. I’ve poked around thesaurus.com to find the word to express what it is when we are ready to grow.

As the title may tell, I couldn’t find just one word.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk about what it is that I do with Actuate. I wanted to tell the group that you use coaching when you want more from your time spent at work. Maybe you’re stuck and need to get unstuck or maybe you’re ready to grow.

I couldn’t find the right word for growing.

Expandate-Burstish-Growify

You know that place right before you get bigger. I notice it with my elementary school aged daughter. Just before she gets a size bigger she shows the signs of change. She a little awkward, vaguley uncomfortable, but happy to get away from where she is.

Maybe that’s not quite it, but when you are on a precipice, you sometimes need some hand holding or a push over the edge. With well laid plans the jump should be less frightening, but it’s still enough to catch your breath in your throat; to make your pulse raise.

But that’s where I, the coach, comes in. I hold your hand, or push, but I also help create the plans that make the jump a bit less scary.

So do you have words you like to play with?

Have you created something new out of a few left over words which is better then the individual parts? Share in the comments.

If you enjoyed reading this, please consider telling a friend.

Mind over Matter

On April 2, 2010, In fear, happiness, By Juli

PHOTO BY: Guy Noir

I have quote on my wall that says “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” It’s a Japanese proverb.

I’m amazed at how much fear can hinder us. I’m more amazed at how it hides in insidious ways. I’m at a jumping point in a few areas of my life. I’ve been working toward these momentous things for years and now that they are about to blossom into something tangible and I’m terrified.

There I said it.

So here I am questioning my fear. Is it because the unknown is scary? Is it because my next ventures are ill advised and my subconscious is telling me to stop? Are there things I’ve not considered? Am I acting unwise? Or is it plain and simple-new stuff stinks? The old is indeed comfortable.

Regardless, going back to the proverb, my mind will dig me a pit a fear so deep I may never scale the walls and move forward. I like to examine my navel as much as the next person, but this is one of those times where pondering doesn’t equal clarity. It just makes things more murky.

So wish me luck. I’m jumping and I’ve turned off the doubt piece of my brain.

What do you to that helps you make decisions. Do you count on a feeling, rely on a well laid plan, or just suffer the consequences of saying “yes” without much angst?

3 Words

On January 3, 2010, In Change, behavior, choices, fear, goal setting, learning, mind mapping, self-confidence, By Juli

PHOTO BY: Abulic Monkey

I gave myself the challenge to come up with three words to help build my goals for 2010 for Actuate.

I’m doing it for my personal life too, but I’ll keep it business focused now. Again we can thank Mr. Chris Brogan for the suggestion. I swear I could be his guinea pig for suggestions. I could do everything he suggests for a year and see how successful or frustrating my life becomes. I expect if I took 25% of his suggestions and mulled them over, I’d be better off.

I have to say, I did my favorite thing for brainstorming. Mind Mapping!

I have loved doing these since I learned about them in some class or another that I took years ago. In the center I wrote “Actuate 2010″ and I set a timer for 10 minutes. I heart timers. I used an online timer because I was too lazy to go to the kitchen and set the one on the stove and this one is particularly good.

Since I was looking for three words/themes for the year I was pretty happy when they popped out.

I came up with Produce, Systematize and Commit.

For each the obvious results are more create offerings, make for smoother machinations (a word I love because of Patrick of Sponge Bob fame) of what I do and show up. Showing up is hard to describe but on the mind map I had “fearlessness, ending self doubt and emotional barriers” that could keep me from doing all I want to do.

Identifying the path or the action items is next.

Produce- is creating classes, workshops, templates, applications of my theories, and book ideas. Also there’s blogging and potentially video blogging. That’s on top of making more one on one coaching connections. I love doing that!

I mean really if I had to say it this year is about brainstorming my business by doing. It’s trying to tap as many avenues as I can to see what sticks. You know throw the spaghetti at the wall, which is really a bad way to see how cooked the pasta is, but throwing stuff out there and out of my head is the best way for me to move forward; it’s the best way for me to see if it will serve the goal. I’m an extrovert, that’s what Meyer Briggs tells me I do.

The path to systems is doing the work such as create mailing lists, contacts, logging hours, billings, plus templates and book stuff, which aligns with produce.

I’m all about alignment.

Those are some real tangible things which I feel pretty confident about handling. So whew.

The last one, commit is pretty much about not being scared. I know I can talk myself out of anything if I let the evil little voice of fear in my head have control. You know the one that says people will think I’m foolish, silly, stupid, inept, an impostor, etc. if I show up. It is the same one that tells me it’s too cold, too far, too insignificant to spend my time and energy doing. I hate that voice!

That’s going to need a good cop/bad cop kind of approach, I think. There are times when I’ll have to power through the self doubt and other times when I have to be gentle with myself. Does that make sense? The obvious results will be more connections.

The overriding goal is to make connections and contribute to the lives in my life.

I’m convinced that if I do good work the money will follow. Part of doing good work is asking for the sale, but it’s also proving my value. Doing good work is contributing. It’s kind of a cycle thing, know what I mean?

So what would be three words for your year? What’s your goal or goals? Do you have a mission/vision for what it is that you are doing?

Fear and Molasses

On November 17, 2009, In fear, By Juli

PHOTO BY: techicool

What’s the difference between being self employed and owning a company?

Is that on your horizon? When you’re thinking about your future is that something you want to do? Are you in the beginning stages of company creation? There’s the responsibility of having other people (outside of your family) rely on you and the quality of your decision making for their livelihood.

If you’ve always wanted a building with your name on it what’s holding you back? What are the barriers between you and it? Please don’t say money. Money can be made; money happens when smart decisions are executed, when your value meets your customer.

What’s keeping you from making it happen? Many things can get in the way.

Typically it’s genuine, deep, and sluggish fear.

It wraps it way around your ankles and keeps you from jumping for the stars.

I think of it as molasses.

Which considering my years in a kitchen what else would I come up with? It’s black and thick and sticky. You can’t see through it, you couldn’t swim in it, and while not prickly-stickiness is far from comfortable. There’s some sweet comfort in molasses too. I mean a ginger snap without molasses is just another spice cookie. But when it gets where you don’t want it to be, on the counter, the floor, the side of the bottle, it’s a bear to clean up.

A baker will tell you, be careful when handling molasses, it’s more efficient to take your time then to clean up any spills.

Actually I had a boss when I worked in a bakery who said his biggest fear from a disgruntled employee was the hypothetical worker taking gallons of molasses throwing it on the walls followed with a 50 pound bag of flour being flung about.

Don’t ask me where he got the idea.

I personally like the insidiousness of the concept, though I’m a nice girl and would never do such a thing, but yeah, real fear in this man’s heart at hypothetical molasses mayhem.

But back to being careful.

When you see you’re not moving in a direction you’ve dream about moving toward, look at what’s scaring you. Is it lack of knowledge? Is it lack of confidence? Do you not trust yourself or others? Move on it. Forward and carefully. And while using the molasses metaphor, while it’s can be a mess it nearly always can be cleaned up with effort and hot water. Your stickiness can be dissolved as well.

So reader, What kind of hypothetical or real mayhem have you thought of perpetrating?

Tagged with: business owning • cooking metaphor • fear • molasses

Sometimes I Cry

On June 17, 2009, In WLS, fear, friends, By Juli

Photo by: Mike Ingalls, my step dad.

I had reason today to move the file which contained this picture. I hadn’t looked at it up close recently. I mean this is the photo I use as my standard ‘before’ shot, so I show it once or twice a month to people. I don’t really look at it much.

I sent it Gabbi, she’s a weight loss surgery girl too with a statement, “Sometimes I forget”.

I do.

I don’t really forget, I hope I never do. But sometimes I just worry about daily stuff like money and childcare and what to make for dinner and the reality of my weight loss is floating around in the back of my head.
Then I saw this picture today and sent a note. Moments later I was lacing my shoes to go for a three mile run. I run.

That girl in that picture there, she runs.

That’s monumental. So much so that I cried. Where else do you but emotions of relief and joy and sorrow and gratitude? I hope I can capture just mind blowing that is someday, because it is. To go from being there to here has been amazing.
It’s not just about accomplishing the goal. It’s about understanding that one can do whatever it is that they want to do. If one takes the long view and breaks things down into manageable pieces. Oh then not giving up. There’s so much more to this.

To Thy Own Self Be True

On June 2, 2009, In Change, GF, choices, fear, job, job hunting, self understanding, work, By Juli

PHOTO BY: notsogoodphotography

I was asked today if I thought being interviewed for a new job was fun or terrible. I asked if those were my only two choices. I am want for doing that. Give me options A or B and I’ll ask if there isn’t perhaps C or D. It’s what I do. The GF pointed that out. But she’s also the first person to ask me a series of A or B style questions. It’s how we got to know each other. And yes, it was she who asked the “fun or terrible” question.

I find it fun.

I’m an odd duck, perhaps. And fun isn’t the most accurate word but I have this odd confidence that has always been a piece of me. Stepping into a room and telling someone how I could potentially rock their world really is like a trying on new lipstick colors. I can imagine myself in whole different contexts in which I don’t typically function. I’m a dancer, no a CEO, no a movie star. I get to purse and smack my lips and otherwise show off. Plus there is no sweat on my nose if the color doesn’t work. (At this point I’m still gainfully employed, if that were to change perhaps my nose would sweat.)

I do have some interesting talents that I can show off.

I mean I’m no management ninja, but I’ve been around and I love big picture stuff. I can tell you my weaknesses oops, I mean opportunities and how I surmount them. I can site examples of bad and good situations. How I’ve been shot down and misunderstood and I can paint rosy pictures of my learning and the benefits to the organization. I’m that good.

I just really don’t want to go and look for a job. I’d like the perfect one to fall into my lap. Don’t we all? What has me scratching my head is that looking is akin to work. I don’t mind work. So I don’t know where the disconnect is happening. Well, yeah I do. It’s coming to me as I type.

I don’t know where to find the job that I want. I know what it is. It’s coaching and consulting. It’s getting results in a big way, not fixing simple problems. It’s having measurable impact, and by measurable I don’t mean reducing labor costs by 1% but by changing lives. Right? So here I go.

Freaking OUT

On March 14, 2009, In WLS, coaching, fear, graduating, By Juli

Photo:Perfesser_bear

I don’t usually say I’m scared and burst into tears.

I don’t usually reveal that kind of stuff in the space either.

What’s going on with me today?

I’m just a few weeks away from graduating from school. I’ve been at it for 5 years. I do deserve to get done with it at some point.

Add one more week to that and I’m getting parts of my body lobbed off. They are parts I don’t want, not like an arm or anything. It’s my excess skin, but really it’s still mine and it’s going to be costly and painful and disruptive to my daily flow.

I’m scared of all the changes.

Oh and they are happening in close succession because I’m a master with a Gantt* chart and I typically make things happen with pretty good timing. A few months ago I considered this good timing.

* I heart Gantt, I read his biography, and I don’t normally read biographies.

There’s a trip to Las Vegas in during the weekend between the two major life changing events as well. Yeah, I’m that good or that crazy depending on your point of view.

So after I burst out into tears, my person, who knows me pretty well, went on to ask about the surgery recovery. She playfully stated that by the end of the six weeks I’ll have my coaching business up and running and my book written.

I said, “You think you’re being funny, but that’s kind of the plan.”

She said, “I wasn’t being funny. I know that’s how you operate.”

There is no mystery to me.

And really, the plan is to be enrolled in some coaching certification program before then and to solicit agents for the book. Which means writing bits and bios and outlines and comparing like books. Also doing research on the coaching programs out there. Who knew there were so many?

But also cool, saying things out loud, to people like my on-line professor, such as, “Executive coaching is my ultimate career goal” got an offer to hook me up with someone she knows who is doing it for real, locally.

So yeah, Julianna doesn’t have a plan past the end of May and she’s freaking out 8 different ways.

Photo:http://www.flickr.com/photos/perfesser_bear/

Burst, Expand, Elevate, Florish

Mind over Matter

3 Words

Fear and Molasses

Sometimes I Cry

To Thy Own Self Be True

Freaking OUT

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