WLS

Next Food Network Star

On July 10, 2010, In Change, Epic, NFNS, WLS, food, By Juli

PHOTO BY: Batega

Sometimes you need to reach for something that has a pretty slim chance of happening. I mean if you don’t nothing new can happen, right? I’m being epic.

I’m doing it. I’m actually putting together a video entry to be the Next Food Network Star (NFNS). I’m filling out the 11 page application and I’m sending it in.

The application is great, asking questions about training, but also about cooking point of view and food philosophy. You know I’m all about the food love, but I also want to help other people who’ve had weight loss surgery find peace in the kitchen. It took me a while to figure out how to do it. I tried to cut that piece of my life and it didn’t feel good; it didn’t work. I had to create a way to work my history to my advantage-and I did. Now I want to share that with other people.

I love my life in the kitchen. Personally and professionally and I love helping people succeed. That’s why you see this on the Actuate blog. Success, action, and a culmination of all that I am. Dudes, this feels so right.

While my relationship with food before WLS wasn’t entirely healthy, parts of it absolutely were. The parts about learning and experiencing other cultures; the parts where the science is cool. The parts where I shared with peoples’ joy by recognizing them with a cake or a dinner. I didn’t want to give up. I couldn’t give it up. But I could use my kitchen skills to make food that worked for me. That’s what I did.

I know why I want to have a show. I know what kinds of food I want to cook-nutritionally dense, full of flavor that supports WLS people and their families and I also know I’ve got skills enough to pull it off.

I’m smart, charismatic, I absolutely know food, I’m self possessed and I want to help other people be successful.

So bring it.

Sometimes I Cry

On June 17, 2009, In WLS, fear, friends, By Juli

Photo by: Mike Ingalls, my step dad.

I had reason today to move the file which contained this picture. I hadn’t looked at it up close recently. I mean this is the photo I use as my standard ‘before’ shot, so I show it once or twice a month to people. I don’t really look at it much.

I sent it Gabbi, she’s a weight loss surgery girl too with a statement, “Sometimes I forget”.

I do.

I don’t really forget, I hope I never do. But sometimes I just worry about daily stuff like money and childcare and what to make for dinner and the reality of my weight loss is floating around in the back of my head.
Then I saw this picture today and sent a note. Moments later I was lacing my shoes to go for a three mile run. I run.

That girl in that picture there, she runs.

That’s monumental. So much so that I cried. Where else do you but emotions of relief and joy and sorrow and gratitude? I hope I can capture just mind blowing that is someday, because it is. To go from being there to here has been amazing.
It’s not just about accomplishing the goal. It’s about understanding that one can do whatever it is that they want to do. If one takes the long view and breaks things down into manageable pieces. Oh then not giving up. There’s so much more to this.

Style

On May 28, 2009, In WLS, clothing, fit, friends, learning, relationship building, style, By Juli

Photo By: Capture Queen

I found my style while shopping this past weekend in Chicago, I didn’t buy anything but that’s beside the point. It is no small feat for a woman of 41, who rarely dressed for occasions, who would shop just to cover her body to figure out what works or not works. I mean I could tell you what I didn’t like, but that’s about style.

This is about style, comfort and fit.

This is about me wearing the clothes, not the clothes wearing me. About feeling good about how I look. Apparently I like to wear tight pants. Who knew. I’m not talking about lay down on the bed to button them pants, but I like um snug. I’m amused.

I like clean lines with some details. Nothing too frilly and certainly nothing that looks too trendy. I equate trendy with cheap. Trendy does not equal current. There are current things that don’t look cheap which I like. If you were wondering. You probably weren’t but some people do.

I’ve talked more about clothing my new body with more people than I care to recount here. You might find me vapid if I actually sited numbers, time spent and content of those conversations.

And why are you still reading about one woman’s shopping victories? Because there’s something in the narrative which is emotional, logical and analytical, and those are the pieces of decent story telling.

Emotional: We all struggle to feel good in our bodies. Part of that is how we look, and part of how we look is how we dress. When that falls apart our emotions get all jumbled.

I am not the first woman to cry in a dressing room at Macy’s.

Logical: If you’ve been following my story, it makes sense that I’m newly discovering how to dress and how to shop. Ms. Deirdre is the oldest of three girls and knows her way around a clothing store and how to build relationships with the people working there. I’m learning from the master. And because I’m soliciting every woman I know who has a bit of panache in her style I’m learning 1. Women can talk shopping; 2. One must hit all kinds of stores in the off chance you’ll find a piece that works; 3. Finding the piece is what the shopper’s high is all about. It’s makes all the searching and trying worth the effort.

The progression: Lose weight, shop for new clothing, look hot. It’s a girl’s dream come true.

Analytical: Really this is more than just clothing a body. This is about watching someone discover things taken for granted and having a new found appreciation for what you already know. Women more than 20 years younger than me figure this stuff out. Is it like watching a baby learn to walk? Perhaps not as profound, but it is along those lines. So here I am dressing myself, “look momma I tied my shoe!” walking tall and proud. You too can remember learning to tie your shoe, learning what works on your body type.

You can and walk tall beside me.

And yeah, we’ll save the world next week. I get that this is shallow on one side but it’s deeply relevant on the spectrum of awareness and presentation and how we build relationships, which is fact, the point of it all.

Friends

On April 4, 2009, In Happy Brunch, WLS, friends, graduating, plastic surgery, By Juli

Photo:terren in Virginia

I freaking love Brunch

It’s a shame that not all my people read this here blog because all my people are asking questions and sending me well wishes for the upcoming week. I want to tell them all, “Of course I’m anxious and I indeed appreciate your kind thoughts.” Now don’t mind me if I go into hiding for a few weeks. You’ll get a call to let you know I made it through the surgery. Promise.

But talking about my people and this coming week and my past week there was a epiphany of sorts. Many people know that I’ve been busting my butt to lose weight, it’s dramatic and visually obvious, thanks for noticing. This coming week’s surgery, where my skin is going to be retrofitted to my now smaller body, is a product of that effort.

Last week I finished my MBA. Many people know about that too. Thanks for the cards and the “congratulations” and yes, I am very proud of myself. I too can’t believe it’s finally over.

But the third thing of which I’m equally proud of is that during the years I’ve spent in school and losing weight I actively went about cultivating genuine friends too. Not networking in a plotted way, but making existing friendships stronger and creating new friendships where before there was a void.

I love you, my people.

And then there’s this happiness thing. I’ve been reading Gretchen on the Happiness Project which is amazing and gives me more good ideas than anything else I come across. You should read it too. And there’s also This I Believe which a while ago talked about cake on Fridays as a standing tradition. I can’t find the actual story. But it spoke of community and love and cake and family. What’s not to like about all that?

Well, now school is done, my home is happy, my life is moving in a crazy new directions-I’m scared I’ll lose old work friends if I don’t put something in place. I have few traditions from my childhood but I actively work to give them to my daughter, I love cooking and can’t eat nearly all the wonderful things I enjoy making, which tied to a happiness project got me thinking about brunch.

HAPPY BRUNCH

I’m going to have a monthly open house brunch to make happy with my friends. Yeah, this is going to have to wait until after I recover, but it won’t wait too long. There will be food and joy.

I love cooking, tradition and friends. I have the time.

I’m going to have to put this in email, to my people, so they will show up. But I thought I’d put it here too well, because why not?

Would you like to join us? You’re welcome. Just bring some eggs or juice or bagels or something and a some happy conversation. We’d love to have you.

EPIC? Me? Go on. Really?

On March 15, 2009, In Change, Epic, MBA, WLS, evil eye, returning to school, stories, whammy, By Juli

Photo: Darren Hester

I read this post by Charlie at productive flourishing. He’s a genius. http://www.productiveflourishing.com/do-epic-shit/

The concept is amazing. Well not really, the concept is pretty much, do big things and get big results. Don’t do something small and work like hell to make it look big. Start with EPIC as the mind set.

I thought what’s so epic about little ol’ me? Well frankly everything and nothing at all. I mean day to day, I’m a regular woman. I go to work, feed the children, love my people, work with my body, grow my brain. I think most people do a smattering of that. I’m not so special.

There’s been a whole lot of change in the last couple of years.

But the everything part is that oh, about 6 years ago I thought the only way out of my then situation was for someone to die. Either me or my partner at the time. I was 34 and thought I was waiting for the end of a life so that what I really wanted to do could start. Isn’t that so sad? I’d stick a frowny face in here if it weren’t so cheesy.

Mind you I didn’t want to kill her, nor did I want to die, but really, the thought, “Is this what I get?” saturated with disappointment about who I was and how I felt made me take stock, and say I can change this.

So I broke up with her. Big move, I realize.

We had a one year old.

That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Breaking up with my partner meant that I would only have my child with half the time. What’s EPIC about that? We are co parenting in a very collaborative, healthy way. The girl child’s best interest is our ultimate decision question. Answer that and we are good to go. A lot of ego and hurt feelings has gotten set aside so we can do what is best for her. Girl child is the light of our lives. She fills our hearts and we are all happy. Also, ex’s mother is among my dearest friends, to this day.

Then I decided to go back to school.

Because now I was single and had a mortgage and only one income and a child to raise. The three jobs I was working still wasn’t enough money at the end of week. I was making decisions about what bills not to pay.

School was a way out economically, but it was a long view solution. It also was an answer to “How you can you stop hating yourself for never having gone to college even though you have very, very good explanations for not attending?” Going back to school to get an undergrad then a graduate degree at age 40 is EPIC.

Then I lost weight and in the process found a connection to my body.

Around 2006 I found out about lapbanding as a weight loss solution. After some soul searching I got on board and had that done in 2007. I’ve never looked back. I did my best to exercise and eat well. I looked at the opportunity as once in a lifetime chance to get regular so I worked it from every angle. I’m regular now and it’s great. Losing 174 pounds is EPIC.

The collection of learning and people I’ve made along the way has been amazing. The shift in how I view the world, my potential and even my little brown house has gone from primarily negative to absolutely positive. And that is EPIC.

So what’s that got to do with Charlie’s post? How to take the humble story of me with all that gold and get it out there. I’m working on it. I suppose it’s that book thing idea I have, that I don’t want to talk about too much for fear of putting a whammy on it. Whammies and Hairy Eye Balls* dictate a lot of how I operate.

*Also known as the Evil Eye.

Photo:http://www.flickr.com/photos/ppdigital/

Freaking OUT

On March 14, 2009, In WLS, coaching, fear, graduating, By Juli

Photo:Perfesser_bear

I don’t usually say I’m scared and burst into tears.

I don’t usually reveal that kind of stuff in the space either.

What’s going on with me today?

I’m just a few weeks away from graduating from school. I’ve been at it for 5 years. I do deserve to get done with it at some point.

Add one more week to that and I’m getting parts of my body lobbed off. They are parts I don’t want, not like an arm or anything. It’s my excess skin, but really it’s still mine and it’s going to be costly and painful and disruptive to my daily flow.

I’m scared of all the changes.

Oh and they are happening in close succession because I’m a master with a Gantt* chart and I typically make things happen with pretty good timing. A few months ago I considered this good timing.

* I heart Gantt, I read his biography, and I don’t normally read biographies.

There’s a trip to Las Vegas in during the weekend between the two major life changing events as well. Yeah, I’m that good or that crazy depending on your point of view.

So after I burst out into tears, my person, who knows me pretty well, went on to ask about the surgery recovery. She playfully stated that by the end of the six weeks I’ll have my coaching business up and running and my book written.

I said, “You think you’re being funny, but that’s kind of the plan.”

She said, “I wasn’t being funny. I know that’s how you operate.”

There is no mystery to me.

And really, the plan is to be enrolled in some coaching certification program before then and to solicit agents for the book. Which means writing bits and bios and outlines and comparing like books. Also doing research on the coaching programs out there. Who knew there were so many?

But also cool, saying things out loud, to people like my on-line professor, such as, “Executive coaching is my ultimate career goal” got an offer to hook me up with someone she knows who is doing it for real, locally.

So yeah, Julianna doesn’t have a plan past the end of May and she’s freaking out 8 different ways.

Photo:http://www.flickr.com/photos/perfesser_bear/

Life Lesson

On March 10, 2009, In Ms B, WLS, eating, lessons, lunch lady, By Juli

photo: by lu_lu

There was a woman in my life for many years.

She’s moved away, but I love her still.

She was crazy.

You know the kind of crazy that can hang on to a job because it’s union and she had the art of apology down really, really well.

And actually she contributes amazingly to any community she is involved with. There’s a small town in Alabama wondering what the hell is hitting them, as I type.

We worked together in the cafeteria. I am a lunch lady after all. Actually I was her boss, and like I said, I was on the receiving end of a few apologies but this isn’t about that.

There are shops she can’t walk into for having lost her temper and basically calling out the injustices she witnessed. Only later with the clarity that only distance and time gives, would she concede there was probably a different point of view at play. But the recanting of those stories always made for a good laugh.

This is about minding ones own business.

Tending to ones own home before poking their nose in other people’s houses.

Why this and why now? Well I’m a lunch lady and I’m also a person who has had weight loss surgery. Someone on the message board I post on was talking about other people watching what she eats. I suppose people watch what I eat but I’m a little too busy to really be that involved watching people watching me.

I’m a little mean too.

Well, not mean, but direct. And there is a perfect line from Ms B which rolls off my tongue regardless of the setting. So I suppose I do notice, but that’s only after someone makes an oh so inappropriate comment about my nutritional selections.

It goes a like this: “What I eat, you don’t shit. So don’t worry ’bout what’s on my plate.” I have uttered those words countless times.

You can join me too. That goes for the vegan, vegetarians, bacon eaters and anyone who has had to deal with anyone policing what you stick in your mouth. Claim your plate and your choices and tell people to get busy taking care of themselves.

photo:lu_lu

Next Food Network Star

Sometimes I Cry

Style

Friends

EPIC? Me? Go on. Really?

Freaking OUT

Life Lesson

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