Next Food Network Star

PHOTO BY: Batega

Sometimes you need to reach for something that has a pretty slim chance of happening. I mean if you don’t nothing new can happen, right? I’m being epic.

I’m doing it. I’m actually putting together a video entry to be the Next Food Network Star (NFNS). I’m filling out the 11 page application and I’m sending it in.

The application is great, asking questions about training, but also about cooking point of view and food philosophy. You know I’m all about the food love, but I also want to help other people who’ve had weight loss surgery find peace in the kitchen. It took me a while to figure out how to do it. I tried to cut that piece of my life and it didn’t feel good; it didn’t work. I had to create a way to work my history to my advantage-and I did. Now I want to share that with other people.

I love my life in the kitchen. Personally and professionally and I love helping people succeed. That’s why you see this on the Actuate blog. Success, action, and a culmination of all that I am. Dudes, this feels so right.

While my relationship with food before WLS wasn’t entirely healthy, parts of it absolutely were. The parts about learning and experiencing other cultures; the parts where the science is cool. The parts where I shared with peoples’ joy by recognizing them with a cake or a dinner. I didn’t want to give up. I couldn’t give it up. But I could use my kitchen skills to make food that worked for me. That’s what I did.

I know why I want to have a show. I know what kinds of food I want to cook-nutritionally dense, full of flavor that supports WLS people and their families and I also know I’ve got skills enough to pull it off.

I’m smart, charismatic, I absolutely know food, I’m self possessed and I want to help other people be successful.

So bring it.

 

Burst, Expand, Elevate, Florish

hands

PHOTO BY: hartford.strong

I’ve done it again. I’ve poked around thesaurus.com to find the word to express what it is when we are ready to grow.

As the title may tell, I couldn’t find just one word.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk about what it is that I do with Actuate. I wanted to tell the group that you use coaching when you want more from your time spent at work. Maybe you’re stuck and need to get unstuck  or maybe you’re ready to grow.

I couldn’t find the right word for growing.

Expandate-Burstish-Growify

You know that place right before you get bigger. I notice it with my elementary school aged daughter. Just before she gets a size bigger she shows the signs of change. She a little awkward, vaguley uncomfortable, but happy to get away from where she is.

Maybe that’s not quite it, but when you are on a precipice, you sometimes need some hand holding or a push over the edge. With well laid plans the jump should be less frightening, but it’s still enough to catch your breath in your throat; to make your pulse raise.

But that’s where I, the coach, comes in. I hold your hand, or push, but I also help create the plans that make the jump a bit less scary.

So do you have words you like to play with?

Have you created something new out of a few left over words which is better then the individual parts? Share in the comments.

If you enjoyed reading this, please consider telling a friend.

 

Sabatical

green drink

PHOTO BY: Rick

So apparenlty I took a sabatical. A break as it were, from doing what it is that I should be doing.

But I’m moving stuff from my get to it list to my do it now list. Getting back in the saddle of writing and connecting with folks is on that list and here I am.

Hi, I’ve missed you.

Breaks are fun. Sometimes they are necessary or we may lose our minds. Getting back to business if fun too. There’s the excitement of doing something that fetches results. That’s the sweety ooey goodness of why we get up in the morning. If it’s sending the kids off to school with a full belly, merging a company with another, or creating new math to better understand the universe; results are the unifying thing.

So here’s to taking a break, raise a green drink, it is Saint Patty’s Day after. And then raise another for finding motivation on the other side of the lull.

 

Kvetch or Not

red light

PHOTO BY: Benimoto

Do you ever think about how being negative brings you and everyone around you down?

It’s fun to be witty. Even charming to be sarcastic, in the right crowd.

There’s also a myth that happy people are stupid.

But with all the kvetching in the world, the harping, the nagging, the “God, it sucks to be me!” thinking it can really get you down. Not to mention how it impacts the listening crowd you’re talking to.

And while I struggle to be a Suzy Sunshine all the time I find the struggle to be well worth it. The pay out is immense. I mean the people around me fare better and I fare better too.

My morning drive involves me traveling 6 miles from home on the main thoroughfare in my city. There are at least 21 lights between my door and the work parking lot. I was a few minutes late getting out the house today. The difference in the light sequencing between 5:55am and 6:11 am is amazing. I hit over 50% of the lights. At a few minutes to six I can make it from my house to work in 5 minutes or so. Not today.

I was frustrated.

But I saw the opportunity to grow. my. appreication. for. my. life.

(the periods denote personal eye rolling)

I was reluctant.

But I was going to hit the lights, I told myself to take that time while I was stopped to appreciate being.

My thoughts ran from:

I have a job to get to!

I’m healthy. It’s a little early in the season to be saying the flu shot worked without fail, but so far so good.

I have all my stuff I need with me. I remembered my lunch and my breifcase.

I don’t need to stop to get gas!

Those 3 runners look dedicated and they must have a valuable relationship with each other.

It went on like that. I got to work happily and kvetch free.

So let me say, we all have the choice to view obsticals as opportunities.

I know a series of traffic lights are pretty insignificant compared to some challenges that come our way, but if you can think differently about the little frustrations perhaps you can find new ways to think about the big ones. Or maybe you’ll have the energy to face the big stuff with a little more grace.

When you start the conversation with, “You know what I hate?” Can you check yourself? What gets in your way? Where might your  potential opportunities happen?

Let me know what you think in the comment section. Thanks!

 

PHOTO BY: Abulic Monkey

I gave myself the challenge to come up with three words to help build my goals for 2010 for Actuate.

I’m doing it for my personal life too, but I’ll keep it business focused  now.  Again we can thank Mr. Chris Brogan for the suggestion. I swear I could be his guinea  pig for suggestions. I could do everything he suggests for a year and see how successful or frustrating my life becomes.  I expect if I took 25% of his suggestions and mulled them over, I’d be better off.

I have to say, I did my favorite thing for brainstorming. Mind Mapping!

I have loved doing these since I learned about them in some class or another that I took years ago. In the center I wrote “Actuate 2010″ and I set a timer for 10 minutes. I heart timers. I used an online timer because I was too lazy to go to the kitchen and set the one on the stove and this one is particularly good.

Since I was looking for three words/themes for the year I was pretty happy when they popped out.

I came up with Produce, Systematize and Commit.

For each the obvious results are more create offerings, make for smoother machinations (a word I love because of Patrick of Sponge Bob fame) of what I do and show up. Showing up is hard to describe but on the mind map I had “fearlessness, ending self doubt and emotional barriers” that could keep me from doing all I want to do.

Identifying the path or the action items is next.

Produce- is creating classes, workshops, templates, applications of my theories, and book ideas. Also there’s blogging and potentially video blogging. That’s on top of making more one on one coaching connections. I love doing that!

I mean really if I had to say it this year is about brainstorming my business by doing. It’s trying to tap as many avenues as  I can to see what sticks. You know throw the spaghetti at the wall, which is really a bad way to see how cooked the pasta is, but throwing stuff out there and out of my head is the best way for me to move forward; it’s the best way for me to see if it will serve the goal. I’m an extrovert, that’s what Meyer Briggs tells me I do.

The path to systems is doing the work such as create mailing lists, contacts, logging hours, billings, plus templates and book stuff, which aligns with produce.

I’m all about alignment.

Those are some real tangible things which I feel pretty confident about handling. So whew.

The last one, commit is pretty much about not being scared. I know I can talk myself out of anything if I let the evil little voice of fear in my head have control. You know the one that says people will think I’m foolish, silly, stupid, inept, an impostor, etc. if I show up. It is the same one that tells me it’s too cold, too far, too insignificant to spend my time and energy doing. I hate that voice!

That’s going to need a good cop/bad cop kind of approach, I think. There are times when I’ll have to power through the self doubt and other times when I have to be gentle with myself. Does that make sense?  The obvious results will be more connections.

The overriding goal is to make connections and contribute to the lives in my life.

I’m convinced that if I do good work the money will follow. Part of doing good work is asking for the sale, but it’s also proving my value. Doing good work is contributing. It’s kind of a cycle thing, know what I mean?

So what would be three words for your year? What’s your goal or goals? Do you have a mission/vision for what it is that you are doing?

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qtipqtip

PHOTO BY: tamakisono

I’m finding the need to have a series of posts about careers and how to change or grow them. This is the first in the series. I don’t know how many there will be. I’m thinking 3 or maybe 4.

“We’re in a society where HR is less and less about career development and more and more about benefits management. Companies are no longer the stewards of your development and career.” That’s Chris Brogan who I’m just silly over.

I have this weird school girl crush on him because everything he says just resonates with me.

And how he says it also drives home the points that we are in this together. Him and Mario Batali, they are the two people I use to answer the question “if you could have two people to dinner who would you invite?”

I think these two souls are passionate about what they do, and are humble, they work hard and know how to work a room. I think I’d learn a lot.

So back to careers.

Let’s assume you like what you do but you want to do more, or have greater impact or maybe you want to do less and be off work more. Regardless you and your career are not happy partners and you know it’s time to examine the quality of your work life.

This would be a great time to pitch an assessment that I’ve created, but I don’t have one and I’m not pitching anything but ideas. So let me start.

A super simple -overly simplistic way- to approach this is to say, figure out where the rub is then make it better.

That’s the answer to most conundrums, no?  So try to answer why is there an issue? Is it your job or your boss? Are you not making the money you thought you would? Is it outside pressure to do more or be bigger? Are you working hard and not getting recognized? Are you able to contribute more but not given the opportunity?

I came across best case scenarios of workplaces in my text books in college. HR was aligned with the senior levels of management; developing the human capital and striving to put the best brains on the payroll was the primary focus of HR. If you were identified as high potential worker you’d become the pet of HR and they’d buff and shine you up all pretty for the company (read professionally develop you extensively.)

That’s best case. That’s not real world for most of us.

In the world I know you are fortunate to get heard when you report that you got new training or that you want larger assignments and you are given new work. Often it comes down to being dismissed which leads to disengagement and unhappiness in the workplace. The real world I know uses metrics such as how long did it take to fill a position, not did the best person get put into the role.

So what’s a worker to do?

Back to Chris’ statement above. HR doesn’t do much to develop people these days. So who’s going to help you? Well there’s me and other coachie people but really it’s up to you. Stinks I know, but that’s how it is.

I’m not saying you are alone, part of fixing things is finding people to teach you or support you while you create change. But in the scheme of things you need to identify what it is you want to do, either do exactly like you are doing now, disengage more, or change for the better. (The keep, pitch or grow theory which needs it’s own post.)

Keeping on doesn’t need any new action. Disengaging, while you’ll change it’s not what I’m here for either, but growing?

Growing is gold. It’s the goop on the end of the Q-tip; it’s what we dig around for.

[The image up there now makes sense. Let me say there was a goop covered Q-tip flickr image I choose not to use, because while the imagery is potent it was a little too gross.]

So Post 2 is going to be about how to navigate that change. As far as blog postings go, I’m getting dangerously close to too long here. I promise I won’t keep you waiting too long for the next installment.

 

Self-Confidence Building

birdsPHOTO BY:linhngan/

Most entrepreneurs have a good chunk of self-confidence.

You know this is important. I don’t think I need to expand on why it’s important it just is. But if your self-confidence is a little shaky, you’re not alone. We all could use a little booster shot every now and again. I’ve joked more than once that I’ve got more self-confidence than I should, but I don’t.

I have just the right amount most of the time. What helps when it’s low is remembering the following:

“Perfect” is overrated.

People lose too much energy worrying about being perfect. There are times when there’s not a right or wrong answer. There are complexities to business decisions which don’t have simple direct answers. The best you can to is gather all the information you can in the time allowed, do some analysis of the potential outcomes and then decide.

Live with failure, it’s going to happen.

You’re going to make mistakes, we all do. We all spend countless hours replaying the lists of “what if?” Let it go and learn from the experience. The quicker you lick your wounds and get back into the game the quicker you’ll be working for positive change and success.

Commit to your decisions.

Second guessing your choices is a waste of time and energy. Instead of moving forward with what you’ve chosen to do, you’re working on ways to extract yourself from your commitment. Be positive about your vision and the expectation you’ve made the right choices. You probably did, if you did your homework, right?

Fake it til you make it.

Show courage even if you are quaking with fear internally. We all feel fear.

There’s this thing call “imposter syndrome” where one really doesn’t believe they are qualified to be where they sit, as if they’ve only got there by chance, not their hard work. We’re not talking about that here. Don’t be a fraud. Sometimes it’s stage fright, but you’ve studied your lines. You know your stuff.

Be content in your work.

If what you are doing isn’t making you happy and scares the hell out of you all of the time, you’re probably not doing the right thing for your life. Things are not aligned. Your work should make you happy. Not all the time, not singing in the rain happy, but overall it should leave you energized and excited for the morning. If it’s not doing that, well then shhh maybe you should find something that does.

I love this. Be smart, commit, trust yourself, and take any bumps as ways to learn. I mean there’s bravado which is toxic and I’ll write about that later, but frankly if you’re lacking self-confidence and it’s hold you back, stop. You can build it. It’s like strength training. Start off small and keep adding.

At what times have you missed opportunity because you lacked confidence? Better yet, when did you muster courage through fear and got some pretty awesome gains?

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postitsPHOTO BY: net_efect

I was going through my old blog posts from a different blog. It’s one I started about a year ago. This was a draft post.

I was hoping there’d be more to it, but frankly, it’s pretty awesome straight up with that title.

“What would make you interesting, noteworthy and remarkable?
Answer those questions and you’ll be on to something.”

That’s all I had in the body of the post. I wish I knew where I got the idea from. I’m thinking it was Chris Brogan or some other noteworthy person out there saying thought provoking stuff. Sorry to whomever you are who said it first, I’d quote you if I could.

None the less, good words to use as one develops.
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Behaving Better

coffeePHOTO BY: Pink Sherbet Photography

Today I talked with a friend about the bits and pieces that make someone happy. 

Eggs, pancakes and coffee were involved.  

I want to find a word other than “ego” to talk about transcendence. I’m working on it but in the mean time let’s talk about ‘happy’. It’s one of my favorite subjects. It’s where I strive to sit and I’m fortunate enough to say that I spend a good deal of time in it.

I think it comes from a universal understanding that one is connected to everything; that we are one living jiggling mass of humanity. I’m freaking myself out here but let me tell you I’m not that groovy but I’ve found a way to make this work for me.

 Recently I heard it said that those who get that we are One, (ick) are comfortable with all kinds of people.

There’s an understanding that we marinate together on this big ol’ rock. The people who are not at the point of getting it are quick to put down those who are enmeshed in the daily struggle and are fearful of being connected to those they deem above themselves.

I’m not proud to admit my bad behavior.

There is no denying I was quick to insult, to slam, to boast of my sarcastic and biting wit. I was also scared of people I thought were better than me. Somewhere in the course of my transformation (and I jokingly want to capitalize ‘transformation’) I jumped from the middle sphere into the other. I remember calling a friend to say, “I went to toe to toe with a surgeon, discussing politics and the economy.” I surprised myself.

 At the same time I started tuning into how I was treating everyone around me. And while I’ll get no prizes, I’m keenly aware that more often than I used to be, I am better.

Are you aware of how you treat the people in your life? Could you treat them better? And to make this business relevant, are you aware of how you treat your customers, current, past and potential? Every time you extend your hand or your card you are selling yourself. Are you proud of the message you are conveying? What might you do to improve?

There’s always room for improvement.

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PHOTO BY: notsogoodphotography

I was asked today if I thought being interviewed for a new job was fun or terrible. I asked if those were my only two choices. I am want for doing that. Give me options A or B and I’ll ask if there isn’t perhaps C or D. It’s what I do. The GF pointed that out. But she’s also the first person to ask me a series of A or B style questions. It’s how we got to know each other. And yes, it was she who asked the “fun or terrible” question.

I find it fun.

I’m an odd duck, perhaps. And fun isn’t the most accurate word but I have this odd confidence that has always been a piece of me. Stepping into a room and telling someone how I could potentially rock their world really is like a trying on new lipstick colors. I can imagine myself in whole different contexts in which I don’t typically function. I’m a dancer, no a CEO, no a movie star. I get to purse and smack my lips and otherwise show off. Plus there is no sweat on my nose if the color doesn’t work. (At this point I’m still gainfully employed, if that were to change perhaps my nose would sweat.)

I do have some interesting talents that I can show off.

I mean I’m no management ninja, but I’ve been around and I love big picture stuff. I can tell you my weaknesses oops, I mean opportunities and how I surmount them. I can site examples of bad and good situations. How I’ve been shot down and misunderstood and I can paint rosy pictures of my learning and the benefits to the organization. I’m that good.

I just really don’t want to go and look for a job. I’d like the perfect one to fall into my lap. Don’t we all? What has me scratching my head is that looking is akin to work. I don’t mind work. So I don’t know where the disconnect is happening. Well, yeah I do. It’s coming to me as I type.

I don’t know where to find the job that I want. I know what it is. It’s coaching and consulting. It’s getting results in a big way, not fixing simple problems. It’s having measurable impact, and by measurable I don’t mean reducing labor costs by 1% but by changing lives. Right? So here I go.

 

 

 

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