behavior

Integrity/Accountability

On February 9, 2010, In accountability, behavior, choices, coaching, food, integrity, By Juli

There was a coach the coach thing yesterday which happened at Franklin University, my alma mater. Bill Brewer from Designed Learning who did a presentation called Building Accountability and Commitment.

It was some high level concepts-or painfully simple-you know how those are.

Choosing accountablity in the work place is so hard to stretch ones head around. We butt up against, overlap, and work together with so many different personalities it’s often hard to see where our agendas begin, the organization’s mission drives our efforts, and where the egos of all the players start and end.

The simple idea, the genius, is to approach all interactions with the commitment to be accountable for yourself

If everyone in all communities did that there would be a new world of possibilities.

The example that came to mind when a participant complained that if they show up deciding to be accountable, but others didn’t that he’d essentially be screwed.

Made me think of going to a potluck where there’s always tons of delicious food.

You can choose not to go, but then you don’t get to have a voice. Or you can go and pig out with little regard for your health. The last approach is you go, have a voice, eat a meal -not 3- and walk away enriched for the experience without having slashed your committment to yourself.

That would be being accountable. Right?

So how do you do that at work?

You decided before you enter a situation that you’re going to participate and that you’re going to get value from the experience. You decide that you’re going to take some risk which includes taking a leap of faith that others care for the general whole as well. That’s pretty much from the hand out I got, I don’t want to plagerize.

But wow. It’s caring about the general whole, the trust part that’s hard. Go back to the potluck analogy though, I can trust that people aren’t going to poison me. I trust that they kept their cat out of the food while it was cooking. And even more subtlely they didn’t use whole cream then tell me it was made with skim milk. Individuals have a certain amount of integrity.

Integrity is a important word for me.

It’s one of the core three that I use to rule my decision making. Optimism and persistence are the other two, incase you were curious.

I see integritiy as how I personally commit to myself, how I handle situations as right or wrong. It’s my internal measure by which I hold myself.

I see accountability as how I commit to you and others in my community. And my community is vast. It’s work, my daughter’s school, my family, my EGG DAY folk. Plus I see areas for improvement for myself.

How about you? Are you good with being accountable? In what ways could you improve your accountablitiy to the people around you that you impact? Can you stand up and make a promise in front of a group of people without internal negotiations and caveats? Would that make you itch? Tell me about it.

Kvetch or Not

On January 21, 2010, In Change, behavior, choices, By Juli

PHOTO BY: Benimoto

Do you ever think about how being negative brings you and everyone around you down?

It’s fun to be witty. Even charming to be sarcastic, in the right crowd.

There’s also a myth that happy people are stupid.

But with all the kvetching in the world, the harping, the nagging, the “God, it sucks to be me!” thinking it can really get you down. Not to mention how it impacts the listening crowd you’re talking to.

And while I struggle to be a Suzy Sunshine all the time I find the struggle to be well worth it. The pay out is immense. I mean the people around me fare better and I fare better too.

My morning drive involves me traveling 6 miles from home on the main thoroughfare in my city. There are at least 21 lights between my door and the work parking lot. I was a few minutes late getting out the house today. The difference in the light sequencing between 5:55am and 6:11 am is amazing. I hit over 50% of the lights. At a few minutes to six I can make it from my house to work in 5 minutes or so. Not today.

I was frustrated.

But I saw the opportunity to grow. my. appreication. for. my. life.

(the periods denote personal eye rolling)

I was reluctant.

But I was going to hit the lights, I told myself to take that time while I was stopped to appreciate being.

My thoughts ran from:

I have a job to get to!

I’m healthy. It’s a little early in the season to be saying the flu shot worked without fail, but so far so good.

I have all my stuff I need with me. I remembered my lunch and my breifcase.

I don’t need to stop to get gas!

Those 3 runners look dedicated and they must have a valuable relationship with each other.

It went on like that. I got to work happily and kvetch free.

So let me say, we all have the choice to view obsticals as opportunities.

I know a series of traffic lights are pretty insignificant compared to some challenges that come our way, but if you can think differently about the little frustrations perhaps you can find new ways to think about the big ones. Or maybe you’ll have the energy to face the big stuff with a little more grace.

When you start the conversation with, “You know what I hate?” Can you check yourself? What gets in your way? Where might your potential opportunities happen?

Let me know what you think in the comment section. Thanks!

3 Words

On January 3, 2010, In Change, behavior, choices, fear, goal setting, learning, mind mapping, self-confidence, By Juli

PHOTO BY: Abulic Monkey

I gave myself the challenge to come up with three words to help build my goals for 2010 for Actuate.

I’m doing it for my personal life too, but I’ll keep it business focused now. Again we can thank Mr. Chris Brogan for the suggestion. I swear I could be his guinea pig for suggestions. I could do everything he suggests for a year and see how successful or frustrating my life becomes. I expect if I took 25% of his suggestions and mulled them over, I’d be better off.

I have to say, I did my favorite thing for brainstorming. Mind Mapping!

I have loved doing these since I learned about them in some class or another that I took years ago. In the center I wrote “Actuate 2010″ and I set a timer for 10 minutes. I heart timers. I used an online timer because I was too lazy to go to the kitchen and set the one on the stove and this one is particularly good.

Since I was looking for three words/themes for the year I was pretty happy when they popped out.

I came up with Produce, Systematize and Commit.

For each the obvious results are more create offerings, make for smoother machinations (a word I love because of Patrick of Sponge Bob fame) of what I do and show up. Showing up is hard to describe but on the mind map I had “fearlessness, ending self doubt and emotional barriers” that could keep me from doing all I want to do.

Identifying the path or the action items is next.

Produce- is creating classes, workshops, templates, applications of my theories, and book ideas. Also there’s blogging and potentially video blogging. That’s on top of making more one on one coaching connections. I love doing that!

I mean really if I had to say it this year is about brainstorming my business by doing. It’s trying to tap as many avenues as I can to see what sticks. You know throw the spaghetti at the wall, which is really a bad way to see how cooked the pasta is, but throwing stuff out there and out of my head is the best way for me to move forward; it’s the best way for me to see if it will serve the goal. I’m an extrovert, that’s what Meyer Briggs tells me I do.

The path to systems is doing the work such as create mailing lists, contacts, logging hours, billings, plus templates and book stuff, which aligns with produce.

I’m all about alignment.

Those are some real tangible things which I feel pretty confident about handling. So whew.

The last one, commit is pretty much about not being scared. I know I can talk myself out of anything if I let the evil little voice of fear in my head have control. You know the one that says people will think I’m foolish, silly, stupid, inept, an impostor, etc. if I show up. It is the same one that tells me it’s too cold, too far, too insignificant to spend my time and energy doing. I hate that voice!

That’s going to need a good cop/bad cop kind of approach, I think. There are times when I’ll have to power through the self doubt and other times when I have to be gentle with myself. Does that make sense? The obvious results will be more connections.

The overriding goal is to make connections and contribute to the lives in my life.

I’m convinced that if I do good work the money will follow. Part of doing good work is asking for the sale, but it’s also proving my value. Doing good work is contributing. It’s kind of a cycle thing, know what I mean?

So what would be three words for your year? What’s your goal or goals? Do you have a mission/vision for what it is that you are doing?

Behaving Better

On November 22, 2009, In Change, behavior, By Juli

PHOTO BY: Pink Sherbet Photography

Today I talked with a friend about the bits and pieces that make someone happy.

Eggs, pancakes and coffee were involved.

I want to find a word other than “ego” to talk about transcendence. I’m working on it but in the mean time let’s talk about ‘happy’. It’s one of my favorite subjects. It’s where I strive to sit and I’m fortunate enough to say that I spend a good deal of time in it.

I think it comes from a universal understanding that one is connected to everything; that we are one living jiggling mass of humanity. I’m freaking myself out here but let me tell you I’m not that groovy but I’ve found a way to make this work for me.

Recently I heard it said that those who get that we are One, (ick) are comfortable with all kinds of people.

There’s an understanding that we marinate together on this big ol’ rock. The people who are not at the point of getting it are quick to put down those who are enmeshed in the daily struggle and are fearful of being connected to those they deem above themselves.

I’m not proud to admit my bad behavior.

There is no denying I was quick to insult, to slam, to boast of my sarcastic and biting wit. I was also scared of people I thought were better than me. Somewhere in the course of my transformation (and I jokingly want to capitalize ‘transformation’) I jumped from the middle sphere into the other. I remember calling a friend to say, “I went to toe to toe with a surgeon, discussing politics and the economy.” I surprised myself.

At the same time I started tuning into how I was treating everyone around me. And while I’ll get no prizes, I’m keenly aware that more often than I used to be, I am better.

Are you aware of how you treat the people in your life? Could you treat them better? And to make this business relevant, are you aware of how you treat your customers, current, past and potential? Every time you extend your hand or your card you are selling yourself. Are you proud of the message you are conveying? What might you do to improve?

There’s always room for improvement.

Tagged with: behavior • Change • eggs • ego • happy • improvement • one • transcendence

Integrity/Accountability

Kvetch or Not

3 Words

Behaving Better

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